Words That Don't Seem to Go Together

Now its time to be controversial in a post. I've been thinking about words that don't go together. Here are some ones you may have heard before.

Working + Vacation

Customer + Service

Sane + Sky Diver

OK, I made the last one up as a joke (Please don't protest sky divers). But honestly there are some words that don't seem together in our society.

Interesting + Lecture. I think the vast majority of college students will agree on this one.

Funny + Sitcom. I don't watch many newer sitcoms anymore as their quality has sharply declined since their glory days from the 60's to the 80's. They mostly are just a steady stream of sex jokes and if you have to resort to sex humor to write jokes, then you need to face the reality that you are not a good comedy writer.

Honest + Journalist. I'm sure a small number of journalists out there are honest but I have learned not to automatically believe anything written or reported by a journalist at face value. They too often slant and distort news brazenly to suit either their political ideology and/or to sensationalize the news they are reporting.

Easy + Diet. I think anyone who has tried to lose weight will agree on this one.

New Years Resolution + That Was Kept. I'm sure all of you that vowed to workout at the gym every day and have already violated that will agree on this one.

Conservative + Democrat. If your actually out there, your not holding political office as a governor, representative, or senator. And if you do get elected, you will slowly drift more to the left the longer you are in office. Some may protest that some conservative Democrats were elected in 2006, but I won't believe it until I see their voting records at the end of the year.

Politically Competent + Republican. While there are some of you who are conservative, you have not shown any competence in the last few years in advancing a conservative, Reaganeque agenda. You seem to mostly be apologizing to the liberals for not being as liberal as they are (and spending government money on pork projects for the district that you have no businesss spending that way).

Honest + Journalist. This just needs to be repeated for emphasis.

Vacation Destination Recommendations

It is usually in about January when those who are organized begin to plan their summer vacations (those who are unorganized never plan it all other than a vague notion that we will "see the west" or something like that). Having been in 47 of our 50 states (Delaware, Michigan, and Hawaii are the only ones I have left) I am willing to share some of my favorite spots in the USA for your family vacation.

Walt Disney World, FL. This is possibly my favorite place on planet earth. PLEASE GET A GUIDEBOOK OR TWO AND USE THEM!!!!!!!!! Some of you are still under the misinformation that WDW is one single theme park. It is a whole complex containing 4 outstanding theme parks, 2 water parks, and many other recreational opportunities. Visit the 4 theme parks in this order on your first visit: Magic Kingdom, Epcot, Disney-MGM Studios, and Animal Kingdom. Each of these parks is a uniquely incredible destination. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

The Black Hills of South Dakota. Some of you may wonder about this. Check it out. This is where Mount Rushmore is as well as Wind Cave National Park, Jewel Cave National Monument, Flintstones Bedrock City (really!), Reptile Gardens, the Rushmore-Borglum Story, the 1880 train, the Black Hills Passion Play, the historic town of Deadwood, and many other things. A recommended day trip out of the hub city of Rapid City is to go east to Badlands National Park and the world famous tourist trap (in a good way) Wall Drug Store. Wall Drug is not a pharmacy but a whole complex of shops and mechanical singing cowboys (you really will like it).

Wisconsin Dells, WI. The mecca of tourist traps. I recommend the Upper Dells Boat Tour, the Ducks Boat tour, Noah's Ark water park, and the Timber Falls complex (the only miniature golf course with a built in log flume ride that I am aware of).

Branson, MO.. You don't have to be 75 to enjoy this place. Silver Dollar City theme park is worth the drive and I recommend the Shepherd of the Hills outdoor drama as well. There are also a collection of show theaters featuring celebrities whose glory days are behind them (but most of the celebrities there seem to enjoy being there).

Holiday World Theme Park, IN. This neat small park features an impressive water park and has 3 world class roller coasters (I've only been on two since the third was added since my last visit). And for budget watchers there are two things not found at most theme parks: free parking and free soft drinks. Really!!!! Also, you can see a man claiming to be Santa Claus as well (by the way this is in Santa Claus, Indiana.)

Maggie's Jungle Golf, KY. This isn't really a big destination. My first official date with my wife was here. You'll find it a mile from Kentucky Dam in far western Kentucky. You can play golf here as well as take a golf cart around to see various animals like Ostrichs, Llamas, and so forth. The best place to eat nearby is about five miles away in Grand Rivers, KY. and it's called Patti's (it is expensive to eat there though). If you can't afford Patti's, you can eat at the Mr. Gatti's or Ponderosa in Draffenville or at the Cracker Barrel in Calvert City.

Yellowstone National Park, WY. My favorite lower 48 national park. There is Old Faithful, Lake Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone River, Yellowstone falls, Mammoth Hot Springs, the Paint Pots, and nature in general to entertain you. Nearby to the south is Grand Teton National Park and the resort of Jackson. To the east is the outstanding Buffalo Bill Museum in Cody.

Denali National Park. AK. My favorite national park of all I've been to. You can't drive very far into the park so you have to take a bus tour. This bus tour is sort of like a safari as you look out for Grizzly bears, moose, caribou, foxes, wolves, dall sheep, and other Alaskan wildlife. You can also see sled dogs. In the village of Denali Park you can see about whitwater rafting and helecopter tours. Oh Yeah, their's also the tallest mountain in North America. Take the Alaska Railroad from either Fairbanks or Anchorage for added trip enjoyment.

Finally you should see Rock City. This little place near Chattanooga, TN. is fun to wonder around on the top of Lookout Mountain.

My list here is not exhaustive. I may be back to recommend more in the future.