Rejected Christian Book Titles

These little known book titles are not available at your local Christian bookstore because they were rejected by publishers.

10) Blue Like Bluegrass. A man moves from Portland, Oregon, to Renfro Valley, Kentucky, and discovers Christian theology while learning to make moonshine.

9) The Purpose-Driven Lifer. A prisoner's biography.

8) Left Behind Again, Left Behind Once More, Left Behind Yet Again, Left Behind: The Final Rapture; Left Behind: Oops, There Was Another Rapture; Left Behind: Jason and Freddy versus Alien and Predator at the Rapture. Apparantly it was decided to start a new series of books by the occurance of yet more raptures. Did not pass the eschatology smell test of any of the mainstream evangelical positions.

7) Confessions of Saint Augustine, Florida. Some things should remain secret.

6) Your Best Life 30 Years From Now. Osteenism only goes so far.

5) Your Denomination is Stupid. Considered too provocative by the publisher.

4) John MacArthur's Apocrypha Commentary. Publisher considered this title to likely be a forgery.

3) The Institutes of the non-Christian Religion. Apparently this was mailed to the wrong publisher.

2) The Leap Year Study Bible for Bill Johnson. This was considered to be a little too personalized.

1) Sound Theology in the Emergent Church Movement. This would be a very small book.

Top 5 Travel Destinations

My recommendations for your travel pleasure. I am only recommending stuff I have been to, so that means everything is either in the USA, Canada, or Russia (I have been to one city in Mexico but nothing there is making my list).

Top 5 National Parks: 1) Banff (Alberta); 2) Denali (Alaska); 3) Grand Canyon (Arizona); 4) Yellowstone (mostly in Wyoming); 5) Mammoth Cave (Kentucky).

Top 5 Theme Parks: 1) Disneyland (Anaheim, CA); 2) WDW: Magic Kingdom (near Orlando, FL.); 3) WDW: Epcot (same); 4) WDW: Animal Kingdom (same); 5) WDW: Disney's Hollywood Studios (same)

Top 5 non-Disney owned Theme Parks: 1) Silver Dollar City (Branson, MO); 2) Busch Gardens: The Old Country (Williamsburg, VA); 3) King's Island (near Cincinatti, OH); 4) Sea World (Orlando, FL); 5) Sea World (San Antonio, TX).

Top 5 Roadside Attractions: 1) Wall Drug Store (Wall, SD); 2) Rock City (near Chattanooga, TN); 3) Reptile Gardens (Rapid City, SD); 4) Upper Dells Boat Tour (Wisconsin Dells, WI); 5) Beardale Castle (near Revelstoke, BC. - if it is still open).

Top 5 Historical Museums (single building complex): 1) Buffalo Bill Center (Cody, WY); 2) American History Museum (Washington, DC); 3) Cincinatti Public Museum (guess where?); 4) Yorktown Victory Center (Yorktown, VA); 5) There is no number 5.

Top 5 Historical Museums (multi-building complex): 1) Harold Warp's Pioneer Village (Minden, NE.); 2) Colonial Williamsburg (Williamsburg, VA); 3) Homeplace 1850 (Land Between the Lakes National Recreation Area, TN); 4) Jamestown Festival Park (near Williamsburg, VA); 5) Upper Fort Gerry National Historic Site (just north of Winnepeg, MB).

Top 5 Zoos (does not include zoo-ish theme parks like Sea World): 1) San Diego Zoo (San Diego, CA); 2) Fort Worth Zoo (Fort Worth, TX); 3) St. Louis Zoo (St. Louis, MO); 4) Brookfield Zoo (near Chicago, IL); 5) Cincinatti Zoo (guess where again).

Top 5 Historical Homes: 1) White House (Washington, DC); 2) The Hermitage (St. Petersburg, Russia); 3) Monticello (near Charlottesville, VA); 4) Biltmore House and Gardens (Asheville, NC); 5) Mount Vernon (near Alexandria, VA).

Top 5 Shopping Centers: 1) Mall of America (Bloomington, MN); 2) West Edmonton Mall (Edmonton, AB); 3) Opry Mills (Nashville, TN); 4) Grapevine Mills (Grapevine, TX); 5) Underground Mall (Moscow, Russia)

There are other categories of course but I do have other things to do other than blog.

New Airlines of the World

Yes, flying has grown to be too predictable and boring in the sense of you get the same old seats, same old beverage cart items, same old in flight entertainment, etc. Of course, we do not want to increase the excitement factor by things like crashes and near scares. We have better ideas. How about themed airlines or airlines for places that don't have one.

Sitcom Air = on this airline your pilots will Howard Borden (The Bob Newhart Show) and those two brothers on Wings. The flight attendants will be the waitresses from Alice and It's A Living, and also Steve Urkel (waiter from Rachel's Place on Family Matters). On board flight meals will be served by either Ginger & MaryAnn from Gilligan's Island or by Igor from M*A*S*H. In flight entertainment will be a mixture of episodes of Tool Time, The WJM Six O'Clock News, FYI, Vermont Today, and Wake Up, San Francisco. Radio feeds in flight will be of The Frasier Crane Show or live feeding from WKRP in Cincinatti.

Theology Air = on this airline your pilots will be dressed like either John Calvin or Karl Barth. The flight attendants will serve either Martin Luther Beer (this isn't necessarily a Baptist airline) or Tulip brand sodas (Tulip, Tulip Classic, Diet Tulip, Caffeine-Free Tulip, Caffeine-Free Diet Tulip, Cherry Tulip, Vanilla Tulip, Cherry-Vanilla Tulip, Crystal Tulip, New Tulip, Tulip Zero, et al.). On board flight entertainment will be readings from Augustines' Confessions and The Institutes of the Christian Religion (overseas flights can cover more than one volume). You can decide whether the people on the plane are pre-destined to be there or whether they are chosing to fly of their own free will or if its a mixture of both.

Air Leichtenstein = Flights will be from the capital to the other town in this small country. Flight time will be three minutes.

Star Trek Air = This one is just too obvious. Trekkies fill in your own data.

Has-Been Air = Your favorite has-beens have their own airline. Your pilots are Charo and Gary Coleman. Your flight attendants are the entire cast of the movie The Breakfast Club. In flight meals will be from the menu of either the Atkins Diet or the Burger Chef restaurant chain. Your in flight entertainment will be music videos of Menudo, Falco, Gerardo, Culture Club, A-Ha, Ace of Bass, Wham!, War, the Bay City Rollers, Peaches & Herb, the Captain & Tenille, Bananarama, Duran Duran, Rick Springfield, and every celebrity mentor from American Idol.

Thank you, sit back and relax, and enjoy your flight (if you can).